Sunday, June 27, 2010

Unrequited

i have found almost everything ever written about love.

to be true, shakespeare said, journeys end in lovers meeting. oh what an extraordinary thought.

personally, i have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but i'm more than willing to believe shakespeare had.

i suppose i think about love more than anyone really should

im constantly amazed by its shear power to alter and define our lives

it was shakespeare who also said love is blind


now that is something i know to be true.


for some, quite inexplicably, love fades.

for others, love is simply lost.

but then of course, love can also be found, even if just for the night

and then there's another kind of love, the cruelest kind, the one that almost kills its victims, it's called unrequited love.

of that, i am an expert.

most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other.

but what about the rest of us, what about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone?

we are the victims of the one-sided affair. we are the curse of the loved ones. we are the unloved ones. the walking wounded. the handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space.

yes, you are thinking of one such individual. and i have willingly loved that woman for over three miserable years. the absolute worst years of my life.

the worst holidays. the worst birthdays. new year's eve burthen by tears and valium.

these years that ive been in love have been the darkest days of my life.

all because ive been cursed by being in love with a woman who does not and will not love me back.

oh god, just the sight of her. heart-pounding. throat-thickening.